Just for kids

Did you know that you can change how you feel by changing how you think?

Maybe you can even remember a time when you were scared by a noise only to learn that it was just your dog or cat scratching outside your door. If you think it must be a burglar, you might feel scared. If you think it is just your dog or cat, suddenly the fear goes away.

Sometimes you can help change the way you think about something by changing how you talk to yourself about it.
It really helps to talk to yourself in calm and encouraging ways.

Often when we get upset we actually throw fuel on the fire in our brains by saying mean things to ourselves, like calling ourselves names or saying we’re stupid. That just makes us feel terrible. Sometimes we tell ourselves scary thoughts about things that might happen. That just makes us feel more scared.

For example maybe you are afraid to spend the night at a friend's house. You really want to go - you know you'll have fun, but you are scared about being away from your family.

Try this exercise: Remind yourself over and over that you'll see them the next day, that you can have fun and relax and that it is okay to miss people. Missing people is a good thing; it makes you really appreciate each other. Think of how nice it will be when you see each other again.

Ask yourself this question: What would I tell my best friend if I knew he or she was missing their family? How would I reassure him or her? Then tell yourself the same thing. Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat your best friend.

Remember last time we talked about how worry thoughts make it like your brain is on fire? The worry thoughts make the fire bigger; the calmer thoughts make the fire smaller. That’s what we want; to put the fire out. When the fire is out, you can think clearly again. And that’s a good thing. I know you can do it!

Next time we'll talk more about how to change the way you think to take charge of your feelings!