Just for kids

Did you know that you can change how you feel by changing how you think?

Maybe you can even remember a time when you were scared by a noise only to learn that it was just your dog or cat scratching outside your door. If you think it must be a burglar, you might feel scared. If you think it is just your dog or cat, suddenly the fear goes away.

Sometimes you can help change the way you think about something by changing how you talk to yourself about it.
It really helps to talk to yourself in calm and encouraging ways.

Often when we get upset we actually throw fuel on the fire in our brains by saying mean things to ourselves, like calling ourselves names or saying we’re stupid. That just makes us feel terrible. Sometimes we tell ourselves scary thoughts about things that might happen. That just makes us feel more scared.

For example maybe you are afraid to spend the night at a friend's house. You really want to go - you know you'll have fun, but you are scared about being away from your family.

Try this exercise: Remind yourself over and over that you'll see them the next day, that you can have fun and relax and that it is okay to miss people. Missing people is a good thing; it makes you really appreciate each other. Think of how nice it will be when you see each other again.

Ask yourself this question: What would I tell my best friend if I knew he or she was missing their family? How would I reassure him or her? Then tell yourself the same thing. Treat yourself as kindly as you would treat your best friend.

Remember last time we talked about how worry thoughts make it like your brain is on fire? The worry thoughts make the fire bigger; the calmer thoughts make the fire smaller. That’s what we want; to put the fire out. When the fire is out, you can think clearly again. And that’s a good thing. I know you can do it!

Next time we'll talk more about how to change the way you think to take charge of your feelings!

Just for Kids

Do you ever feel upset and scared? I want to help you learn how to make yourself feel better when you're upset.

Do you ever feel like your brain is on fire when you're really upset? Your first job is to put the fire out so that you can feel better and think better. Well you can't throw water on your brain to put the fire out!

But you can do some other things to calm yourself down.

The Deep Breath Exercise Take a deep breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth. Count to four while you take each breath and think about your favorite place to go on vacation. For example, you could imagine walking on a warm sandy beach. Think about how the sun feels and how the seagulls sound as you walk along.

Another way to do the Deep Breath Exercise is to think to yourself as you breath in, "calm, calm, calm" and as you breathe out think "relax, relax, relax." Thinking like this gives your body the message to calm down and feel more relaxed.

Listen to music. Did you ever notice that music can make you feel a certain way? Like happy or sad? Well, calm music can help you feel calm. There are even special CDs of calm music that you can listen to when you need to calm down.

The Drawing and Painting Exercise. Sometimes, when it's hard to find words to express your feelings, it really helps to draw or paint your feelings. And just the movements you make while you draw or paint can help you calm down.

Calm Down with Exercise Doing something physical can really be helpful, like going for a walk or a bike ride.

Calm down with water. Warm water is very soothing. You can't pour water on your brain :-) but you can pour water on your body. Taking a bath or shower can help put out the "fire" in your brain and calm you down.

Calm down by talking to other people. Talking to a friend or parent can help. Just talking about your feelings and why you are feeling that way can help you feel calmer.So try some of these things next time your brain is so upset that it feels on fire. I bet you'll feel calmer and more peaceful very quickly.

In my next blog, I'll write about how you can calm yourself down by talking to yourself.